Welcome to real life Ms. Ece, welcome to real life. To pains, lies, deceits, ignoring attitudes, anxieties, things to be done, money problems, debts, photographs, hundreds of phone calls with no reply, cold faces, uninterested looks, men depressing you, feeling chilly, “what your problems, “why are you still here’s or “why do you leave early”s, “don’t be late”s, “you came early”s, tea after teas, chain smokings, lunches, waitings, disappointments, reluctances to get up, on the way being unable to ignore the presence of a hand around your throat and the pain in your heart even when you wide open the window of the car, being unable to read yet write –the only good side to all these-, to listen or to pretend to be listening to those that tell you about their problems because of your real profession, offering them the solutions which you never managed to apply, shortly welcome back to the “new life”… But I guess you always attributed another meaning to the statement of “new life”, we are curiously waiting for you to tell us about this. Next time? Okay, so be it then. I am aware that I will be repeating the same thing but only this group of words will convey you what I mean. So, we are waiting curiously Ms. Ece, respects… September twenty-seventh.    

It has been a long time you came to “new life” Ms. Ece, today is the sixteenth, welcome back again my queen. May I call you like this? Does it look to intimate, ok we’ll turn back to ms. then. We are in October, do you like this month? You do not distinguish the months as to your taste, this is a big lie… so you were playing a game on us, your confession came quick, so you hate the month November the most, love June the most, the peak of narcissism, just because it is the month you were born in, so be it, everybody loves the month they are born in, only those that do not love themselves wouldn’t, we are not interested in all of these Ms. Ece, you wanted us to call you Ms. Ece right, or am I mistaken? You say December is not so bad, January has no meaning, you like to say February, I guess we are bored to listen to your likes and dislikes of months Ms. Ece, we were curious about different thing, like this “new life” thing, how is everything now, please inform us a little because it may help us too, it may useful to learn from your experiences if we want to pass to a “new life” one day. We won’t be like blinds. So you deceive yourself with “I’m happy” words, you have two supporters also and every day you ask each other “Are you happy today”, get the reply “I’m happy” and laugh, go through the day, isn’t this hard Ms. Ece, because I don’t understand how it may help.

So it means, this is a great gain, history has to write your name, it is so easy for you to deceive yourself, does everybody do this? So, you tell lies to yourselves but you never deceive others, this way you show some honesty to the situation, are you afraid that we will be mislead about your character, this is possible, everybody is afraid to be misunderstood, don’t you have such a fear, don’t you need anybody, how can it be Ms. Ece, if so why do you talk with us now then? October sixteenth. 

Turn down your radio a little, okay. You are early to come to see us, it has only been a week and we were not expecting you Ms. Ece. So you are at home tonight and you have time to think or to write. Not too much, about an hour, yes? So, you have to watch a film one hour later. This is the first time I hear that a film has to be watched, it may be off course. You know we are mostly interested in the “new life” situation. It has been a while you passed on to your “new life”, more than a month. No, we did not clearly understand this situation, I mean how can it be that a person decides to pass on to a new life, what are those that the person does which shows that he has passed on to it, and also how does it pass when a life is new? We are curious about all these, we all want to know what to do if we pass on to a new life one day. Did you tell us about all these last week? Words fly into thin air Ms. Ece, I guess you have to retell us, and also be sure we would have remembered if you had told us important things; forgive us but we do not easily forget what we hear if it is useful to us.

Your new life made you reconsider what freedom is, how come you did not think about freedom before Ms. Ece, it is impossible. We don’t think about it too; don’t say this, this word is our main topic. Maybe I am exaggerating a little bit but we all know what freedom is. In reality none of us is free, in spite of all your efforts even you are not free, and this is unbelievable. If you are not free and you are aware of this, how come you can not be free? This subject will be too philosophical, so let’s just pass it by.  You know this thing I have written to you that I call a letter, made up of the conversations we made, must be at most three pages. We even reached the end of the third page. If we have to end this letter before we solve this new life thing, we all will be very sorry. I beg you to give us a few clues before the letter ends; look new life has a vital importance for us. We might live this one day and we are deadly afraid to be like blind about it, did I tell you this last week, words fly away into thin air Ms. Ece, remember I did tell you this. Okay, this thing has been going on too long. I told you we are deadly afraid, none of us want to live like an endless well, a leafless tree or a backless mirror. Did you say, look at the mirror? You made this up just now because I mentioned a backless mirror, no? You surprise me. We have to examine what we see in the mirror, we have to look into our eyes to see if the sparkle is there or not, what if it is not there? A little makeup; both to our faces and hearts, is that it? 

At the last paragraph we have to tell you this Ms. Ece, you really deceive yourself very finely Ms. Ece, good for you Ms. Ece. Even an inner conversation is a game. Playing a game by you, a game on yourself, and a game with yourself... So only to yourself, almost none to others ha, we have no objection to this Ms. Ece, you are the only one who knows yourself the best. Well, at our last paragraph I have to tell you that in the future when we are limited, tried to be limited or unlimited situations, we are ready to confront you. You know these up to you to some degree Ms. Ece. Well, even if we didn’t understand what a new life really is, we wish you the best in this and the others to follow this life Ms. Ece, with respects... October twenty-third.