LG. was a friend of mine who i like. She was my pal (she doesn’t want to let her name out because of that  i call  her LG). She is warm, honest, sincere and complicated. I like her very much. Without  getting bored, sleep we we have talked and talked days long. I don’t want to call her as “an addict” because i have never  seen her weak! How must the second artivle on drugs which especially aims to  inform young people be? In a conversation about how  the second article of universal happiness must be, I remembered LG and told people that I could meet with her. Moreover we wanted her to write the article  by herself but she suggested : “I’d tell you and you write?” So i editted all the things she told and conveyed you. Here is her experinces about Indian oil and sense openers


LG: An addict generally starts with  joint, this is as natural as  smoking or him than next steo is  chemicals. That time is the time to stop because whatever the chemical is the process wouldn't be ordinar at all.

We organized a birthday party for one of my friends. We turned off the shalters of the house, placed  candles through the corridor, lighted incenses, stored lollipops, lots of beer, vodka and water. We put the drugs in a glassbowl with pleasure  and served them one by one. Everybody looked so happy that when we swallowed the drugs, we were hugging each other. We didn’t know the cake having a buddha picture on could never be eaten that night.

Dj state to play, after 30 or 40 minutes everybody is convinced that the drugs fast and effective. I was sitting in a corner, informing a bunch of honored graduates of İstanbul Erkek about the chemicals which they have never used before.

I was high though, nothing was the same as what was 10 minutes ago, I asked people who were yet 18 listening to me carefully “Why ?”, “ are you so curious about it ?”

“It is said that it makes people happy !”. I agreed, “yes, but life can’t be spend with punctual happinesses take these once and ever!”. I handed them glasse of water and went across the room, I planned to have an eye on them however I wouldn’t remember even my name at the end of the night. Drugs were affecting, one was vomitting because of alcohol, the rest was dancing with lollipops in their mouths and hugging each other. I was the one who brought drugs, sitting and thinking that these people were happy because of me, I was falling into “mdma” (mdma: a chemical which makes ceratonin “happiness hormone” act and accelarate the secrete proces, every ecstacy has different levels  which one is going to affect is not certain at all). We had fun all through the night. We showed each other buddha shaped drugsand  the cake with  the buddha  picture on and said “ this  is buddha , this is buddha  and this is buddha too“ by doşng such nonsense, we deadly were having fun and laughing)

FEAR TIME

Our “high”ness was passing away,  we were getting normal and we started to smoke joint. Two kinds of joint were brought, the person who brougt the joint, pointed one of them and warned us: “Don’t smoke it today, it is very heavy ; try the other“. Two friends of us went to the bath room. The reason why they they were wrapping  it in the bathroom  was an odd point, people weer shouting from their back: “Don’t smoke it without us!”. After a while they showed up with two big joint. (I learned that they had dripped Indian oil into the rolls after a month rom the occasion)

We were 30 people sitting in a small room. One joint is started to be rounded from right and other from left. Everybody was happy and a very nice talk was going on. Everybody was talking. I listened, talked, laughed what i heard. Everything was great, then suddenly everything got out of control, people were laughing but there was nothing to laugh at some of them were lookinmg anxiousand tense. Instanteniously I got alarmed and panicked. I just felt like that I wasn’t understanding what was talking. The reason such feelings in me is the incoheren behaviour of C sitting next to me. He was acting weird and looked so afraid. He was covering his face with his hands and opening them  and covering again. I shaked C swiftly, told : “Look at me C!”.  He wasn’t looking at me and not talking either. I slapped on his face and at the end he could say: “What?!”

L: Have you sen halucination?
C: Have you seen what I have seen ?

L: What were you seeing?
C: We are in a tent but I don't remember how we came here and look there, it is the window of  the tent. Wind is coming through in here.

L: Look C! These are not real, take a deep breath and hold it, drink some water and don’t panic. Everything is ok! What you’ve seen is no treal! It will end!

After this conversation the minute, I turned my face and got shocked. We, 30 people were sitting in a tent and wind was coming through the window which C mentioned about was touching my hair. Yet, neither the window was open nor we were in a tent. I didn’t want to panic but  everything was coming over and over. I wanted to back in conversation for taking my mind from all that stuff I saw and I didn’t  even glimpse C who was sitting next to me.

“Oh my god, what is it?”. Everybody was talking about their being in a tent. I tried to consle myself, “No, this is a dream, this is social pressure, I‘ll wake up soon!”. All of a sudden 10 boys and girls showed up into the room and girls said they were coming from S... H... (an old club). Everybody turned to the host because nobody knew anything about that girls with oible miniskirts and silent boys. She was not responding, I shouted at her “G.! Who are all these people?”. She got shocked, ”I don’t know them. The bell rang and I opened tthe door and saw them“. We, 30 people staned up unconciously at the same time, we wanted to get out, but why everybody at the same time? In 2 seconds a congestion happened in the room, none of us could be getting out , we were rounding and couldn’t reach the door, it seemed that everybody who  stood up forgot the reason of their standing up. One of my friends  hold my hand and told me:

“Now, I only remember your name, but I am perceiving that you are a close fiend of mine, I am not feeling well at all, we should get out of here and leep“. I agreed and told :
“Yeah, i am not ok, either. We should sleep”. We moved towards the door, my frend C was in front of me.
 

INDIAN OIL

We could have finally reached the bedroom, we lied on clean white sheets without taking off our shoes. My friend told that we should just sleep. After a while, we started to talk, we mentioned about what happened to us there for a long time. We didn’t even  touch on the big favor which sense opener-indian oil had made. We made a telephatic connection and talked for hours in this way. When we noticed that connection, our eyes weer big with  amazement. And stil with locked up lips we explained each other that telephatic thing:

C: It feels super never the less I am afraid, because of that please try to sleep!
L. Ok! But i just want to ask one more thing. Do you see that man standing oppose the bed?

C: Oh my God! Have you seen it? Please, please we should shut our eyes.
L: Allright! (That thing stood and looked at us or 5 minutes, it never tried to reach us, I mean that indistict figure )

The door opened and somebody came in C and I shouted out at coming one:

“Who are you?"
“It is Tolga!” (a friend)

C and I  spoke out loud: “Who is  Tolga?”

Tolga didn’t say anything and lied down next to us. It is understood that what he had seen made him exhausted. We chatted a little more and then I tried to reach bedstand but what was that? My hand could be going through it. C saw it too. I walked to the window nodding my and saying: “No, no, no !”. Chold me.

C: “What are you doing?”
L: “I can’t distinguish between reality and fantasy, but all of these things happened can’t be real. And I‘ll find my own answer. (No word could make me abandon that decision however I lied on the bed again for such a nonsense and simple expression that C made)

C: “No , you won’t jump out of the window!
L: “Why?"
C: “Because I won’t ...”
 

UNCONCIOUS ASTRAL TRIP AND SENSE OPENING

We went on taking in the bed, I was feeling relaxed at least from that on i was getting used to this wild, amazing events. I was going to experince new ones too. But I could handle them! I said, "I was curious about the people in the living room".

C: ”Me, too. I wonder what they are doing“.  I said: “Are you going to ebale to get up?” We went to the room, i was staring at the walla, it was for sure that she  was watching something. One was pretending that he had a camera in his hand and recording others. He has nothing in his hand at all, he was repeating the same sentences: “I kid you all, look now I am recording you... Do you think that the life you are living is real? This is a movie, I am recording you, you are playing apart in hat. Good for you all!  You don’t spoil. Don’t look at me like that! Didn’t you remember the time I had given your roles. I got stunned by what I saw. It wasn't going to be fine to listen to him though. I got back to the bed by passing that corridor filled with people with abnormal attitudes. My God; we didn’t ever get up from that bed! C and I weren’t scared this time, on the contrary we liked that situation (I succeded to turn around the world  thanks to Indian oil  after  trying  to go out of your body for 3 years. This is not fair ! J). I had to go to the bathroom. I was holding on not to pee for hours. I was going to use all my effort  to go to the bathroom. I stood up and went to the corridor. The boy with the invisible camera was still talking about the same things and the other was staring at the wall. The candle in the bathroom had died down. I neither looked for a lighter nor I turned back, with the idea that my eye can adapt itself  to darkness, I locked up the door, I peed; i even washed my hands in the dark. By the time, I was thinking that it wasn’t that difficult, I didn’t  have any clue that I was going to experince the hardest moment of my life. I  headed to the door, no door! Yes, there is not nothing like a door, it was lost.  I punched the walls and shouted "take me out of here!” Nobody heard me, i began to run away. Yes, I ran approximately 1 km. I was running and running in the same direction and speed. There was a light far away but it was so dim that I had to run. As I was runing , there came my mind to ask for help. Maybe if I reached inside of somebody, he could hear  me “Listen to me; I can’t get out of here and have no energy to run. Please hear me and help me! And open the door! I’m inside of  the bathroom. I was hanged up in the middle of darkness when I was teling these and the door opened. I just could say “God bless you!”, “Why didn’ t you asked for help untill now?” he said. I did. First I shouted but thya didn’t hear me, hey weer in such a deep mood that they didin’t hear anyone untill we got into their soul.

That day, it happened such an interesting event that I have enver experienced in all my life. I scared so much than ver and I thoughtr that that indian  people who  hang  up on air when thay are meditating  don’t came over such a big deal.

Sense opener indian oil, frightened me because my subconcious is no fun. One of my friends had shower with tazmania monster and donald duck (but this  friend had just atken ecstasy not indian oil). After week I was put in a hospital.
 

HOSPITAL

My family wanted to take me to a psychologist because nothing was like the same before. I couldn’t sleep at night, i was halucinating all the time. When i laid down on the bed, I felt as if somebody was touching me contantly. Also in the daily life whatever came to my mind, it would happen. I thought  that what I was feeling was parasite beings on the other hand my mom was instantly telling me to goto  psychologist and then we went to the psychologist.

I didn’t mention about anything I had used, it wouldn’t be good for my mom to know it.I just told the doctor that weird things happening in daily life and distress  at night. The doctor just told one thing you are in the middle of thin line between insanity and rationality, we have to put you in the hospital. Cryings, tears came over...

In the following day I went to the hospital, i was alone there. I had neither my family with me nor a friend  to talk to, nor  phone nor permission  to meet anyone. Here came, the  moments of my regression was  about to start.  They emptied my bag, they took everything including my clogne, there was no permission for anything sharp. I was pissed off, what was I doing there? I was an university student, I had a good family and friends so why was i there?  I was going to feel lonely when I got out of the hospital because when you start to use drugs, look around and see that there is noone who is not addict. I have experinced it by myself. 

On stairs a girl and a boy were sitting, they stared at me. I didn’t say word and finally the boy, “These addicts are so pervish". I got so angry that  I yelled, “I am not an addict!”. The one who teased me was the son of a rich man of the country. A nuse handed me a pawnful of drug and said “Swallow them !”.  I was  just going to ask  which one was for  non or morning , she said: ” Now! all of them!“. There are so many drugs that it seemed impossibel to take all of hem nevertheless I had to take them and I did, at once! I filled my mouth with drugs. When i opened my eyes, I was near the  radiator which  I hit my head. I had passed out. The boy who I had got angry at before was shouting at the nurse: “Damn you, isn’t it too much for a man?”

When he was carrying me to my room, I saw the nurse running away and she locked the door. It as understood that they were afraid of us. As the days passed by, I found myself  like I as in a horror movie but, on the other hand I was getting used to it. There was  a room; a place which we could play pool, ping-pong and watch TV.  The situation was horrible.

Our doctor always reminded us the same thing during the group theraphy, “Look my friends, there is a teddy bear inside of us. Now we’ve bed that bear down to wintersleep, when you leave here, your bear will suddenly wake up and tell you: 'c’mon, try it again, now we’re free'. Don’t listen to it because we put back what you lost both physically and psychologically. The only thing we can’t do is to prevent you to use drugs again because all of this is in your hands".

It was so true! When someone was leaving the hospital, everybody urgently hand him a list of drugs on a paper. The free one can bring what is wanted! But none of the leavers did it and all was given a bad name by patients in the hospital. One day the leaving turn was mine, they all handed me a paper also and told me that they confided in me. My family was standing opposite and who knew what had happened  inside. I entered the room of my doctor and said goodbye and gave the papers in my hand.

”Look!“ I said, “One gave this paper, otther one gave that paper, take all of these and do what it should be done!”. I guessed that they did the same thing the ones had left before me.

When I was in the hospital, I had had to quit school, my boyfriend had left me. Because of serums I gained 30 pounds which was bad because I was just  5.2 ft. My family didn’t trust me at all. All of my friends grew distance. I’ve noticed that I had no friends. Everything was so rigorious. And the only reason for all what had happened was drugs. Did it worth? Never !

Now it is years that I quitted using all of these. I was the one among people who turned the page early. Maybe I am lucky , maybe I am smart but none of them is important! I am a living example and want people to draw a lesson from my experiences. When they read them, I don’t want them to feel like that they just enjoy from a article, instead, I wish that they could see how painful years this addiction makes people live. Now, for me, everything was past  however some of my old friends are still addicts, three of them died from heroin, one has stayed  in a psychology clinic for a period of tiem,one has been continuing his education in abroad but has a bad personality. Drugs are notonly the reasons for physical  but also psychological disorders; abused characteristics, dilemmatic personalities, amnesia etc. Finally  I am happy now and has becoma a good person. What I live is only expeirnce, in reality, unnecessary one. Now here I am!

A BIG WORLD STANDING IN FRONT OF ME...